Tag: blogging
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Why am I so defensive with doctors?
It’s a good question, and one that prompts an epiphany: How would it be if I could work collaboratively doctors on the disease that’s present in my body? How would it be if I didn’t argue with every suggestion presented to me? Why do I want to shut down whenever a guy in a white…
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Navigating health issues, the revival of a creative project and a lost ID
I guess the good news is I’m still taking the long-acting insulin, Basaglar. I also haven’t gained a ton of weight. I’m trying to be a good diabetic. That last bout of ketoacidosis and subsequent visit to the intensive care unit straightened out my attitude. For now. The bad news is it’s making me break…
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Getting the right kind of attention.
I have a couple seemingly random topics that may not be as disparate as I first thought. These are both part of how I’m processing my recent health crisis. And I don’t know if this is normal, but now my physical issues are somewhat resolved, I am grappling with the emotional side of recovery. My…
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“I didn’t know any better”
I’m watching cold case shows on a streaming service. The cases feature interviews with people who witnessed crimes, often domestic abuse, when they were children. A drunk dad beats up a mom, then later apologizes and they make up again. This cycle becomes normal in the household until Dad kills Mom. Children, the innocent witnesses,…
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I had a panic attack
I think a panic attack is the only way to describe my reaction to yesterday’s virtual doctor’s appointment. I didn’t fall apart on the outside, but man, inside I was freaking out. I somehow had the idea that the doctor or his assistant would say something positive about my blood tests — but all I…
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Changes are a-coming
Haven’t been posting much because my work is currently draining my energy every day. But that will soon change, as within the next month I’ll be moving to a less physically taxing and more collaborative job at the retail store. I’m hoping it means I’ll have a little bit of energy in store at the…
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Workplace conflict evokes spaghetti memories
As you can see from the previous post, I’ve done years of work trying to connect my past with my present, linking current behaviours with my what’s happened to me in childhood. Something happened yesterday that shows that…maybe…my brain is getting rewired. My emotions, like the difficult one of anger, are linked to earlier events…
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Going old school with bathroom scales
Remember those doctor’s scales where you couldn’t cheat on your body weight? Those annoying weights, a big one and little one, slid along the bar until the tip dropped, then you had to edge them back until the tip floated in space in the middle of a metal square. I had one of those a…
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The discomfort of leadership
I’ve never felt like a leader, preferring instead to let others go to the forefront while I offer support from the rear. I’m taking a lead in something I’m calling Emotional Diabetes, and in this role I often feel uncomfortable, self-conscious and alone. Who am I to forge into the daunting field of medical diagnoses?…
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A fresh start…and trusting fate
This whole week between Christmas and New Year feels like “Hurry Up and Wait.” Now it’s over. Happy New Years Day to all of you. Now we can get on with 2023, and all that that entails. I’m feeling quite positive, what with my upgrade to full-time work at my retail outlet and a change…
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Time to move on
I got through Christmas, but I seem to have lost knowledge on formatting my blog, so please forgive me for the ugly layout. (On the the other hand, I can’t seem to navigate WordPress like I did before, so maybe there’s an update or something else messing me up.) I received a Christmas gift from…
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The worst time of the year
Not to be a downer but Christmas isn’t a great season for a lot of people. I’m one of them. I have a job where I see lots of men wandering, lost, in the cosmetic department. I find it so touching when a man struggles to buy a woman eye shadow. I assure them that…
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The power of being heard
There’s a seismic shift that happens in me when someone says, “I hear you, I believe you. I know what you say is the truth.” At the same time, there’s a destructive power that can shred a soul when we feel we’re not believed, when someone talks over us and clearly doesn’t want to hear…
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How am I doing? I think, “Pretty good!”
I never thought I’d be a blogger. I have some experience with WordPress but not a lot. All the options around formatting give me brain-freeze. So that’s why I don’t do anything fancy with my layout. I guess that’s the journalist in me — let the words do the talking. You know how it’s easier…
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A pain in the pants
I was dressing for work this morning when I realized, with dismay, that I forgot to transfer my work clothes from the washer to the dryer. I wear jeans and a white t-shirt to my part-time job at a large retail outlet, and currently I only fit in one pair of jeans. They are size…
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Adjusting to change
Gemma and I are both adjusting to the new living room, and one of us appears confused at the changes made. I’m sure, over a couple days, things will settle and perhaps I’ll be forgiven. I brought home a new 75-inch TV yesterday and it became clear that I had no furniture long enough to…
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Birth of a memoir & blog
Early on, I displayed a talent for writing. When I was 10 years old, my composition Journey to Marshmallow Planet made the rounds in the staff room. The only detail I recall was the difficulty in landing because space ships kept bouncing off. One teacher noted on a report card: “Sandra has a flair for…
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Where I am now
I only realized I had stress-induced glucose spikes in 2016, after I got a continuous glucose meter (Dexcom). At Christmas of that year, I visited a family friend and she mentioned that one of my siblings had recently dropped by for a visit. Within minutes (the CGM takes measurements every 5 minutes) the alarm on…