Tag: diabetes
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What is this madness?
I know it’s supposed to be a wonderful addition to my depleted system, but today I swear my long-acting insulin Levemir tried to do me in. First off, you need to understand that I ate cheesecake yesterday and my blood sugar was a little higher overnight as a result. I love cheesecake and feel it’s…
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Why am I so defensive with doctors?
It’s a good question, and one that prompts an epiphany: How would it be if I could work collaboratively doctors on the disease that’s present in my body? How would it be if I didn’t argue with every suggestion presented to me? Why do I want to shut down whenever a guy in a white…
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Navigating health issues, the revival of a creative project and a lost ID
I guess the good news is I’m still taking the long-acting insulin, Basaglar. I also haven’t gained a ton of weight. I’m trying to be a good diabetic. That last bout of ketoacidosis and subsequent visit to the intensive care unit straightened out my attitude. For now. The bad news is it’s making me break…
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Little mysteries
Having a Dexcom continuous glucose monitor (or similar device) opens up a window into your body’s reactions to all sorts of things. In my case, I see little bumps of glucose that come alongside pulses of deep stress. These bumps are worth noting, and I try to align them with what I was doing or…
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Getting the right kind of attention.
I have a couple seemingly random topics that may not be as disparate as I first thought. These are both part of how I’m processing my recent health crisis. And I don’t know if this is normal, but now my physical issues are somewhat resolved, I am grappling with the emotional side of recovery. My…
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Diabetes brings me to hospital
The diabetes journey has its unexpected twists and turns, and this weekend I found myself in the intensive care unit suffering from a potentially deadly complication, diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA). In retrospect, I can see how things may have gone wrong. I had good intentions in resisting long-acting insulin, seeing it as a sure-fire way to…
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“I didn’t know any better”
I’m watching cold case shows on a streaming service. The cases feature interviews with people who witnessed crimes, often domestic abuse, when they were children. A drunk dad beats up a mom, then later apologizes and they make up again. This cycle becomes normal in the household until Dad kills Mom. Children, the innocent witnesses,…
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I had a panic attack
I think a panic attack is the only way to describe my reaction to yesterday’s virtual doctor’s appointment. I didn’t fall apart on the outside, but man, inside I was freaking out. I somehow had the idea that the doctor or his assistant would say something positive about my blood tests — but all I…
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Changes are a-coming
Haven’t been posting much because my work is currently draining my energy every day. But that will soon change, as within the next month I’ll be moving to a less physically taxing and more collaborative job at the retail store. I’m hoping it means I’ll have a little bit of energy in store at the…
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Workplace conflict evokes spaghetti memories
As you can see from the previous post, I’ve done years of work trying to connect my past with my present, linking current behaviours with my what’s happened to me in childhood. Something happened yesterday that shows that…maybe…my brain is getting rewired. My emotions, like the difficult one of anger, are linked to earlier events…
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Going old school with bathroom scales
Remember those doctor’s scales where you couldn’t cheat on your body weight? Those annoying weights, a big one and little one, slid along the bar until the tip dropped, then you had to edge them back until the tip floated in space in the middle of a metal square. I had one of those a…
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The discomfort of leadership
I’ve never felt like a leader, preferring instead to let others go to the forefront while I offer support from the rear. I’m taking a lead in something I’m calling Emotional Diabetes, and in this role I often feel uncomfortable, self-conscious and alone. Who am I to forge into the daunting field of medical diagnoses?…
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A fresh start…and trusting fate
This whole week between Christmas and New Year feels like “Hurry Up and Wait.” Now it’s over. Happy New Years Day to all of you. Now we can get on with 2023, and all that that entails. I’m feeling quite positive, what with my upgrade to full-time work at my retail outlet and a change…
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Time to move on
I got through Christmas, but I seem to have lost knowledge on formatting my blog, so please forgive me for the ugly layout. (On the the other hand, I can’t seem to navigate WordPress like I did before, so maybe there’s an update or something else messing me up.) I received a Christmas gift from…
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New shoes for a smooth road
I’m completing my first week of full-time work in retail, at the store I’ve worked at for 16 months part-time. I’m still processing how my recent attempt to move to a federal government at-home position went wrong, and how returning to my other job gave me a much-needed soft landing. I needed more money, since…
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My extended-fasting diary and aftermath
Day 1 — Saturday, Dec. 3, 2022 Starting wgt 165.6 lbs Here are some tips and survival tactics to get through a fast. The first thing is determination. Believe you can do it. I have tentative plans to complete a seven day fast but will listen to my body and change if necessary. I need…
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Diary of an Extended Fast – Introduction
I need to fast right now. Not next week, not tomorrow. Right now. I’ve just gone (am still going through) a tremendously emotional time, but I can’t let transitory feelings get in the way of my physical health. I’m going to share my experience with you, and frankly that’s a little scary. But doing what’s…
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Riding the waves of an avalanche
I’ve had a shitload of emotional stuff to navigate over the last eight days, but I’ve been aware of my body’s responses and tried to be kind to myself, and in the end of this ordeal, I think I’ll be happier and emotionally healthier. My neighbour Evelyn’s death was a shock, absolutely. Her son and…
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A death too close to home
My neighbour Evelyn died last evening. She’d been feeling unwell for a couple days. I’d planned to drive her to a medical appointment yesterday but she cancelled, fearing she’d collapse. I’ve been driving her to errands and appointments for awhile now. But mostly, I’d pop in just to visit with her. She was 12 years…
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What “too much drama” really means
They say death brings out the worst in families. Or maybe it’s just my experience that prompts me to say that. As you can see from his photo, my dad was a kind and loving man. Even though he died in 2008, I still feel his soft, loving presence. He avoided conflict. He didn’t like…
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Physician, heal thyself of what you were taught about diabetes
I had to go to a walk-in clinic the other day. Like many these days, I don’t have a family doctor. The one I saw previously, and only had for a couple years, retired. My old family doctor never really knew what to do with me. Any reference I made to an emotional element in…
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Assuming you’re alone
I’m in the middle of a week of intensive, virtual training for my new job, and everything seems complicated, especially the program where I input my hours so I can get paid. The class consists of adults from across western Canada. We mainly listen in silence as the instructor reads from a Powerpoint presentation, and…
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How do you feel?
Sounds like a silly question, but it can get complicated fast. Clearly, if you’ve been reading this blog for awhile (and thank you if you have) you’ll see that I attribute many of my glucose spikes to hidden emotion. The emotions that I hide from myself fall in the spectrum of anger, sadness, grief and…
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How am I doing? I think, “Pretty good!”
I never thought I’d be a blogger. I have some experience with WordPress but not a lot. All the options around formatting give me brain-freeze. So that’s why I don’t do anything fancy with my layout. I guess that’s the journalist in me — let the words do the talking. You know how it’s easier…
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Crunching numbers for emotional benefits
It occurred to me the other night as I was trying to return to sleep at 2 a.m., that I have, right at my fingertips, an opportunity to make numeric sense of my glucose response. It’s always good when a hunch turns into hard data, whether it’s good news or bad. The Dexcom system includes…
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De-escalating conflict
Part 2 in a series on conflict resolution I’m trying to demystify a subject that most people avoid talking about. We live with conflict every day but few of us know how to handle it well, and we pay the price with our mental and physical health. On that basis, it’s worth learning how to…
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Sensing small changes
Ever since I realized that unfelt (on the surface) stress responses to an event pitches me into three days of glucose chaos, I vowed to raise my awareness of how I react to small, seemingly minor frustrations. Yesterday, I sensed in the morning a slight disconnection, a small struggle to remember things I knew well…
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How to get frustrated — fast!
I just fasted for five days and lost basically nothing. In the past, five days without food would have knocked off seven or eight pounds, but something has changed in my body. I don’t know what it is, but it’s pissing me off. Fasting is how I got down to the low 140s last year,…