Gemma and I are both adjusting to the new living room, and one of us appears confused at the changes made. I’m sure, over a couple days, things will settle and perhaps I’ll be forgiven.
I brought home a new 75-inch TV yesterday and it became clear that I had no furniture long enough to support it. I looked around and realized it would have to go on the kitchen countertop, back-to-back to upper cabinets. This required spinning my previous orientation 180 degrees, and it feels a bit weird.
I am more adaptable to change than my dog is, but I know she’ll adjust to the change over time. Dogs like regularity of schedule and their environment. I messed with the latter. I sold the sectional. I kept the large footrest, something Gemma has used as her living room dog bed. For months, she’s had the footrest to herself, and now I’ve intruded into her space. She doesn’t like my feet in the way. Even when we share my bed, she’ll leave if my feet brush up against her. She’s different in that way than my previous dog, Libby, who used to go under the covers and happily spoon with me.
Yesterday, as I got used to the massive screen, Gemma stayed on the floor. I got tired of hearing large sighs, so I went out and bought her an actual dog bed. She has so far ignored it, but at least today she has agreed to share the footrest. I see conflicts ahead between the two of us over this space, so I’ve moved the dog bed into a snug space between the love seat and the wall. I’m hoping that eventually she’ll see this as an option.
My heart is light now that I’ve turned my living room into a useful space. I can now create a transition from being up to going to bed. It’s actually the second such adjustment I’ve made recently. The other one was setting an office up in a small room at the other end of the house, so I no longer use my bed as a place to write.
I used to write at a table near the sectional. That changed as the memoir progressed through more drafts, and each one dug deeper into painful moments, like the death of my parents. The memoir is at 12 drafts now and I’ve refrained from calling it finished because I continue to see changes worthy of inclusion in the final portion. So I write this blog to document my emotional transitions from stress-induced responses to a healthier emotional state.
Soon I will be working at a new home-based job with the Canadian government, one that I feel requires a serious office space. One benefit is a reduction of taxes. Saving money is always worthwhile.
Theoretically my bedroom now is just for getting ready to sleep, sleeping and waking up. I still have a TV in there for those transition periods. Having been a journalist, I need to know what’s going on in the world. The rest of the day, I’m happy to look at shows about the universe, and I try to comprehend what seems incomprehensible.
Thank you for reading my blog. This is an important part of my healing journey, and I appreciate your interest. Maybe one day I’ll find someone else who thinks they may also have emotional diabetes.
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