Tag: family
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Great one day, lousy the next — What gives?
About a month ago, my endocrinologist asked me to keep notes each day on my carb consumption so he or associates can get a better track on my glucose numbers. At the time, they were looking at my glucose history through Clarity, the online history of Dexcom — the continuous glucose monitor I use. At…
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Today’s illnesses have roots in the past
On this whole healing journey, I’ve tried to remain conscious of how current behaviours affect my physical/emotional health. Because, as you may know by now, I believe our bodies and minds are connected. If I’m unwell emotionally, it shows up in my body. It’s no coincidence that I suffer from anxiety/depression as well as type…
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When adults regress to child behaviour
This week I revisited my youth, at least emotionally. I’ve been thinking about regression lately, spurred by reviewing ideas put forward by John Lee in his excellent book, “>Grow Yourself Back Up, and I’ve been looking for instances where I’ve returned to child-like attitudes or behaviour. It happened — no surprise — at work. Our…
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“I remember your work”
I was raised to be small, to avoid the spotlight and be modest about my accomplishments. The worst character flaw in my mother’s eyes was conceit, so I’ve lived most of my life in the shadows, or so I thought. Something happened this week that made me realize that others don’t share my self-deprecating view…
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Thank God for Dogs
Today I awoke to news that my little rescue dog Pete is of champion lineage — a distant cousin named Buddy Holly won the “best in show” at Westminster Dog Show last night. When I drove all the way from B.C. to California in November, I’m sure a few friends thought me nuts. But my…
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An excerpt from my memoir, Lovesick
The good thing about being home is the free camping spot, complete with a bathroom, laundry and electrical connections. The bad thing is I’m forced to look at this house that I’ve grown to hate. It continues to get showings but these people are just looking and not buying. I’m happy to return to regular…
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A taboo subject, and it’s a crying shame
My grandfather Many families avoid talking about feelings. They distract with humour, talk sports, drink booze or just avoid each other when emotions are strong. Solitude can be your only companion when terrible things happen. While it’s tempting to call on a family member at times like this, you just know you’re not going to…
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Emotional trip-wires
I tell myself I can’t feel buried emotions — they’re trapped underneath an avalanche of denial, unworthiness, habitual avoidance. I’m stuck with the residual effects of prolonged blocking of sadness, anger, frustration, grief. These effects of saying “NO!” to emotions has taken over my body. The amping up of my hormonal system has thrown my…
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Navigating health issues, the revival of a creative project and a lost ID
I guess the good news is I’m still taking the long-acting insulin, Basaglar. I also haven’t gained a ton of weight. I’m trying to be a good diabetic. That last bout of ketoacidosis and subsequent visit to the intensive care unit straightened out my attitude. For now. The bad news is it’s making me break…
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“I didn’t know any better”
I’m watching cold case shows on a streaming service. The cases feature interviews with people who witnessed crimes, often domestic abuse, when they were children. A drunk dad beats up a mom, then later apologizes and they make up again. This cycle becomes normal in the household until Dad kills Mom. Children, the innocent witnesses,…
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Workplace conflict evokes spaghetti memories
As you can see from the previous post, I’ve done years of work trying to connect my past with my present, linking current behaviours with my what’s happened to me in childhood. Something happened yesterday that shows that…maybe…my brain is getting rewired. My emotions, like the difficult one of anger, are linked to earlier events…
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The discomfort of leadership
I’ve never felt like a leader, preferring instead to let others go to the forefront while I offer support from the rear. I’m taking a lead in something I’m calling Emotional Diabetes, and in this role I often feel uncomfortable, self-conscious and alone. Who am I to forge into the daunting field of medical diagnoses?…
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What “too much drama” really means
They say death brings out the worst in families. Or maybe it’s just my experience that prompts me to say that. As you can see from his photo, my dad was a kind and loving man. Even though he died in 2008, I still feel his soft, loving presence. He avoided conflict. He didn’t like…
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About that blame and shame…
I mentioned in the last post the blame and shame surrounding diabetes, how it’s unlike any other medical condition. Patients are often targeted by media, friends and family for being the victim of their own poor choices. The blame/shame game is part of the emotional issues that can increase your emotional response and heighten your…
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Shame
I watch a lot of TV shows on the universe, and am intrigued by an interstellar material called dark matter. They say it’s everywhere but we can’t see it. It skews what we see through telescopes and throws into question everything we thought we knew about astrophysics. On an emotional level I see an equivalent.…