I recently bought a new Apple watch. I had the first generation at one point but it quickly became outdated — you know how technology is. I wanted a new one because finally I can read my Dexcom glucose numbers from my watch face. This has been available for some time in the U.S. but it’s now in Canada.
For some reason yesterday, I bought a premium version of a health app called Welltory. It’s a leap ahead of similar apps I tried years ago, and goes into depth on my heart rate variability (HRV), a key health marker.
I’m enjoying a week off. No stress, really. But I learned awhile ago my body is in a constant state of anxiety, and it’s been there a long time. The watch picked up on this immediately, telling me that my HRV shows that my body is stressed. “This can happen when something stressed you out. It looks like your brain and sympathetic nervous system are in charge of your heart, which is typically the case when you’re under physical or emotional pressure.”
My HRV is “pretty low,” I’m told. “This happens when you’re really tired, sick or under a lot of physical or emotional stress.”
At the same time, the watch says I’m under a healthy amount of pressure. An adaptation, I guess. I’d dismiss this as crap if I hadn’t been told it before by real people. A naturopath tested me and found I’m in adrenal fatigue. My adrenal glands, which secrete the fight-or-flight hormones cortisol and adrenalin aren’t working as they should. I’ve been “on” for so many years, the adrenal system has flopped out. And no wonder my pancreas is sub-par as well, because it’s worn out from producing insulin, the hormone that quells the urge to physically and emotionally react to stress.
“Your adrenal system is a mess,” said the naturopath.
Bestselling author When the Body says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress interviewed me at one point and confirmed that childhood emotional neglect is taking a toll on my body. He was not surprised to hear I had diabetes. He said my choice of career — journalism — confirmed I do well in high stress situations. They feel normal to me. And the fact I was jumping horses over high jumps at the time fit in the picture as well.
A similar response came from a counsellor schooled in somatic experiencing. This line of talk therapy focuses on how we hold stress in our bodies, where it does evil stuff. And I heard it again from other counsellors, who all determined my body is stuck in high stress mode. I’m like a zebra fleeing from a lion, and there’s no relief.
I’m trying to learn how to relax, but it takes a lot of letting go. Not something I’m good at. I often feel like I’m hanging on a cliff by my fingertips. A weird vision when I’m just relaxing at home.
So I’m not surprised to see my watch determine, “Your autonomic system is adapting to stress but draining your body’s reserves in the process.”
Remedies to a body that stuck in fight or flight are what you might expect: meditation, deep breathing, awareness, and yoga. Today, I’m cashing in a gift certificate given to me by a friend last Christmas for a 90-minute massage. Hopefully I can relax enough to enjoy it.
Leave a Reply