Tag: glucose
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What is this madness?
I know it’s supposed to be a wonderful addition to my depleted system, but today I swear my long-acting insulin Levemir tried to do me in. First off, you need to understand that I ate cheesecake yesterday and my blood sugar was a little higher overnight as a result. I love cheesecake and feel it’s…
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Getting the right kind of attention.
I have a couple seemingly random topics that may not be as disparate as I first thought. These are both part of how I’m processing my recent health crisis. And I don’t know if this is normal, but now my physical issues are somewhat resolved, I am grappling with the emotional side of recovery. My…
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“I didn’t know any better”
I’m watching cold case shows on a streaming service. The cases feature interviews with people who witnessed crimes, often domestic abuse, when they were children. A drunk dad beats up a mom, then later apologizes and they make up again. This cycle becomes normal in the household until Dad kills Mom. Children, the innocent witnesses,…
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I had a panic attack
I think a panic attack is the only way to describe my reaction to yesterday’s virtual doctor’s appointment. I didn’t fall apart on the outside, but man, inside I was freaking out. I somehow had the idea that the doctor or his assistant would say something positive about my blood tests — but all I…
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The discomfort of leadership
I’ve never felt like a leader, preferring instead to let others go to the forefront while I offer support from the rear. I’m taking a lead in something I’m calling Emotional Diabetes, and in this role I often feel uncomfortable, self-conscious and alone. Who am I to forge into the daunting field of medical diagnoses?…
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A fresh start…and trusting fate
This whole week between Christmas and New Year feels like “Hurry Up and Wait.” Now it’s over. Happy New Years Day to all of you. Now we can get on with 2023, and all that that entails. I’m feeling quite positive, what with my upgrade to full-time work at my retail outlet and a change…
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Time to move on
I got through Christmas, but I seem to have lost knowledge on formatting my blog, so please forgive me for the ugly layout. (On the the other hand, I can’t seem to navigate WordPress like I did before, so maybe there’s an update or something else messing me up.) I received a Christmas gift from…
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New shoes for a smooth road
I’m completing my first week of full-time work in retail, at the store I’ve worked at for 16 months part-time. I’m still processing how my recent attempt to move to a federal government at-home position went wrong, and how returning to my other job gave me a much-needed soft landing. I needed more money, since…
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My extended-fasting diary and aftermath
Day 1 — Saturday, Dec. 3, 2022 Starting wgt 165.6 lbs Here are some tips and survival tactics to get through a fast. The first thing is determination. Believe you can do it. I have tentative plans to complete a seven day fast but will listen to my body and change if necessary. I need…
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Diary of an Extended Fast – Introduction
I need to fast right now. Not next week, not tomorrow. Right now. I’ve just gone (am still going through) a tremendously emotional time, but I can’t let transitory feelings get in the way of my physical health. I’m going to share my experience with you, and frankly that’s a little scary. But doing what’s…
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What is strength?
To be truthful, that last post about my dad’s death knocked me flat for a few days. I’ve told the story many times before but never has it flowed so freely. It seemed to come from another place — I was merely the conduit. I’ve read it a few times and wondered how I gained…
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What “too much drama” really means
They say death brings out the worst in families. Or maybe it’s just my experience that prompts me to say that. As you can see from his photo, my dad was a kind and loving man. Even though he died in 2008, I still feel his soft, loving presence. He avoided conflict. He didn’t like…
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Physician, heal thyself of what you were taught about diabetes
I had to go to a walk-in clinic the other day. Like many these days, I don’t have a family doctor. The one I saw previously, and only had for a couple years, retired. My old family doctor never really knew what to do with me. Any reference I made to an emotional element in…
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Assuming you’re alone
I’m in the middle of a week of intensive, virtual training for my new job, and everything seems complicated, especially the program where I input my hours so I can get paid. The class consists of adults from across western Canada. We mainly listen in silence as the instructor reads from a Powerpoint presentation, and…
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How do you feel?
Sounds like a silly question, but it can get complicated fast. Clearly, if you’ve been reading this blog for awhile (and thank you if you have) you’ll see that I attribute many of my glucose spikes to hidden emotion. The emotions that I hide from myself fall in the spectrum of anger, sadness, grief and…
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How am I doing? I think, “Pretty good!”
I never thought I’d be a blogger. I have some experience with WordPress but not a lot. All the options around formatting give me brain-freeze. So that’s why I don’t do anything fancy with my layout. I guess that’s the journalist in me — let the words do the talking. You know how it’s easier…
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Crunching numbers for emotional benefits
It occurred to me the other night as I was trying to return to sleep at 2 a.m., that I have, right at my fingertips, an opportunity to make numeric sense of my glucose response. It’s always good when a hunch turns into hard data, whether it’s good news or bad. The Dexcom system includes…
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De-escalating conflict
Part 2 in a series on conflict resolution I’m trying to demystify a subject that most people avoid talking about. We live with conflict every day but few of us know how to handle it well, and we pay the price with our mental and physical health. On that basis, it’s worth learning how to…
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Sensing small changes
Ever since I realized that unfelt (on the surface) stress responses to an event pitches me into three days of glucose chaos, I vowed to raise my awareness of how I react to small, seemingly minor frustrations. Yesterday, I sensed in the morning a slight disconnection, a small struggle to remember things I knew well…
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How to get frustrated — fast!
I just fasted for five days and lost basically nothing. In the past, five days without food would have knocked off seven or eight pounds, but something has changed in my body. I don’t know what it is, but it’s pissing me off. Fasting is how I got down to the low 140s last year,…
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The masks we wear
When I was in high school, my creative writing teacher — acclaimed Canadian writer Jack Hodgins — asked me to do something strange. I was the first one in class, always, because two of my afternoon classes were in the same room. He put a chair on top of a table and asked me to…
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An old friend is new again
I went to my old beach yesterday, the one where I found solace, comfort, entertainment and refuge as a child. I’ve been there a few times over recent weeks and it occurs to me that the new path over a government easement means I’ll be able to forge a new relationship with this bit of…
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How do you measure your self-worth?
I’m asking you to stand way back and reflect on opportunities you have each day to turn a negative reaction into a positive one. I see my day as a series of events, and how I react to those events often affects my mood and ways I see myself. I start the day pulling socks…
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About that blame and shame…
I mentioned in the last post the blame and shame surrounding diabetes, how it’s unlike any other medical condition. Patients are often targeted by media, friends and family for being the victim of their own poor choices. The blame/shame game is part of the emotional issues that can increase your emotional response and heighten your…
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A pain in the pants
I was dressing for work this morning when I realized, with dismay, that I forgot to transfer my work clothes from the washer to the dryer. I wear jeans and a white t-shirt to my part-time job at a large retail outlet, and currently I only fit in one pair of jeans. They are size…
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Managing Emotional Resistance
I’m trying to figure out why I get stuck in thought, stuck in emotion, stuck facing the challenge of asking for help when it’s obvious to everyone else that I need it. The obvious answer is internal resistance, but why is it there? I’m sure at a basic level, resistance keeps us safe. The first…
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A little perspective may help
Sometimes we get so close to a problem, we can’t see it clearly. I think that’s how I am with my interest obsession with stress and glucose levels. It occurs to me that this interest obsession may in itself be causing the very stress problem I’m trying to solve. I call up the mantra I…
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How did I reach the conclusion I have emotional diabetes?
Good question. Thanks for asking. First, a little backgrounder on the known types of diabetes. Type 1 occurs in people whose bodies don’t make enough insulin. It can occur in children or those later in life. Those afflicted often lose weight easily because the body needs to sustain itself through glucose or body fat. T1…
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You can go home again, but it might hurt
I was restless this morning, finding my life is again at a crossroads. What to do with my day? Not a Netflix day. I didn’t want to see friends. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but still stimulated. So I loaded the kayak onto the car and set off for Cedar, a rural…