Little mysteries

Having a Dexcom continuous glucose monitor (or similar device) opens up a window into your body’s reactions to all sorts of things. In my case, I see little bumps of glucose that come alongside pulses of deep stress. These bumps are worth noting, and I try to align them with what I was doing or thinking at that time.

In this case, I was on a break from work. What? Yeah, I left the floor of the retail store and went to the employee lounge where I usually flip through my iPhone. I don’t get these bumps on my meal break, because I drive home to walk the dogs and relax at home. It’s only my 15 minute coffee breaks where my glucose sometimes rises. It used to happen with regularity, and now it’s less frequent. It’s not from food or coffee. It’s from an idle mind, something that has long got me into trouble.

I’m not always sure what thought has arisen from the deep past to mess with my body’s alert system. Sometimes these thoughts barely touch my consciousness. It may be something like chatter about cats, and my mind ignites a small blaze around the day Dad ran over Dinty. Or hearing the crunch of someone eating an apple, like my mom did, usually while engrossed in a novel. It’s hard to know, but I try to figure it out so I can make peace with the past.

I’m sure some think I’m overly analytical. I suppose most people who are interested in a particular subject get obsessed with it. Childhood experiences have deeply affected my emotional and physical health. If I can find a way to disarm the emotional triggers of childhood, I will. But first I need to know how my mind works, and that can be a challenge.


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