Tag: emotional neglect
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An old friend is new again
I went to my old beach yesterday, the one where I found solace, comfort, entertainment and refuge as a child. I’ve been there a few times over recent weeks and it occurs to me that the new path over a government easement means I’ll be able to forge a new relationship with this bit of…
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Logic vs Emotion. Does it have to be one or the other?
There’s a popular notion that some people are logical and others emotional. Do you identify with one or the other? Stuffing your emotions down inside will lead to illness like heart attacks, headaches, ulcers, alcoholism and addictions. In my case, buried emotions elevated my blood glucose to the point I’m diabetic. I had a childhood…
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How do you measure your self-worth?
I’m asking you to stand way back and reflect on opportunities you have each day to turn a negative reaction into a positive one. I see my day as a series of events, and how I react to those events often affects my mood and ways I see myself. I start the day pulling socks…
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About that blame and shame…
I mentioned in the last post the blame and shame surrounding diabetes, how it’s unlike any other medical condition. Patients are often targeted by media, friends and family for being the victim of their own poor choices. The blame/shame game is part of the emotional issues that can increase your emotional response and heighten your…
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A pain in the pants
I was dressing for work this morning when I realized, with dismay, that I forgot to transfer my work clothes from the washer to the dryer. I wear jeans and a white t-shirt to my part-time job at a large retail outlet, and currently I only fit in one pair of jeans. They are size…
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Adjusting to change
Gemma and I are both adjusting to the new living room, and one of us appears confused at the changes made. I’m sure, over a couple days, things will settle and perhaps I’ll be forgiven. I brought home a new 75-inch TV yesterday and it became clear that I had no furniture long enough to…
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Letting go of an emotional purchase
It came into my life at a difficult time. Twenty years ago, my husband left with my dog, and I struggled to cope. My immediate instinct was to make sense of my environment. I dragged the ex’s old plaid couch/sofa bed outside and lit it on fire. I was impressed at how little was left…
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Managing Emotional Resistance
I’m trying to figure out why I get stuck in thought, stuck in emotion, stuck facing the challenge of asking for help when it’s obvious to everyone else that I need it. The obvious answer is internal resistance, but why is it there? I’m sure at a basic level, resistance keeps us safe. The first…
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A little perspective may help
Sometimes we get so close to a problem, we can’t see it clearly. I think that’s how I am with my interest obsession with stress and glucose levels. It occurs to me that this interest obsession may in itself be causing the very stress problem I’m trying to solve. I call up the mantra I…
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Death by cheesecake
Sometimes I get tired of telling myself “No.” If I get through one day denying an impulse, it’s back again the next day with the added evil message that since I was so good the day before I really deserve a treat. I used to feel that way about alcohol, but managed to get wise…
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How did I reach the conclusion I have emotional diabetes?
Good question. Thanks for asking. First, a little backgrounder on the known types of diabetes. Type 1 occurs in people whose bodies don’t make enough insulin. It can occur in children or those later in life. Those afflicted often lose weight easily because the body needs to sustain itself through glucose or body fat. T1…
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Shame
I watch a lot of TV shows on the universe, and am intrigued by an interstellar material called dark matter. They say it’s everywhere but we can’t see it. It skews what we see through telescopes and throws into question everything we thought we knew about astrophysics. On an emotional level I see an equivalent.…
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It’s not our parents’ fault
Attributing blame to one’s parents may be a natural inclination for those suffering from childhood emotional neglect, but it would be misguided. What???? Am I forgetting who threatened to hit me with the wooden spoon (but never did), who banished me to my room because she couldn’t tolerate my emotional outbursts or who failed to…
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You can go home again, but it might hurt
I was restless this morning, finding my life is again at a crossroads. What to do with my day? Not a Netflix day. I didn’t want to see friends. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but still stimulated. So I loaded the kayak onto the car and set off for Cedar, a rural…
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Where I am now
I only realized I had stress-induced glucose spikes in 2016, after I got a continuous glucose meter (Dexcom). At Christmas of that year, I visited a family friend and she mentioned that one of my siblings had recently dropped by for a visit. Within minutes (the CGM takes measurements every 5 minutes) the alarm on…
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Birthday bliss, and then…a glucose spike!
Sept. 5, 2022 I tend to avoid my birthdays by escaping into nature for a period of self-reflection and orienting to nature. Last year, I went into the woods of Vancouver Island to camp near Pye Lake. This year, I followed the logging roads to the west of the highway and found a waterside six-site…
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Does the wilderness bring calm or panic?
My awareness of the dynamics of stress responses in my body, the kind that push my blood glucose up, the kind I can’t yet feel consciously but want to so I can heal, emotionally and physically. Last week I drove a friend into the deep woods, away from cell phone signals, two-lane roads and the…
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Lovesick: My Journey Through Emotional Diabetes (an excerpt from a book in progress)
by Sandra McCulloch sandradianemcculloch(at)gmail.com Foreword When I turn forty-five, my doctor runs a series of mid-life blood tests. Everything comes back fine, except for the levels of glucose in the blood. I’m shocked to learn I’m diabetic. He says I have type 2 diabetes, where insulin resistance keeps blood glucose from getting from blood and…