Category: Uncategorized
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The worst time of the year
Not to be a downer but Christmas isn’t a great season for a lot of people. I’m one of them. I have a job where I see lots of men wandering, lost, in the cosmetic department. I find it so touching when a man struggles to buy a woman eye shadow. I assure them that…
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The power of being heard
There’s a seismic shift that happens in me when someone says, “I hear you, I believe you. I know what you say is the truth.” At the same time, there’s a destructive power that can shred a soul when we feel we’re not believed, when someone talks over us and clearly doesn’t want to hear…
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Semi-fasted as a way of life
Our bodies are amazing. They’re like those new-fangled cars where we don’t really understand how they work but we’re glad they get us from A to B. It’s only when something goes wrong that we need some help. That help is available for your fancy car at a nearby garage. But fixing your body is…
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New shoes for a smooth road
I’m completing my first week of full-time work in retail, at the store I’ve worked at for 16 months part-time. I’m still processing how my recent attempt to move to a federal government at-home position went wrong, and how returning to my other job gave me a much-needed soft landing. I needed more money, since…
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Life without a CGM
In short, this past while without my Dexcom continuous glucose meter has been both peaceful and scary. For the most part, I have other things to think about and I often forget to check my glucose with a finger poke. There are no alarms to alert me to highs and lows, and there’s a peaceful…
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My extended-fasting diary and aftermath
Day 1 — Saturday, Dec. 3, 2022 Starting wgt 165.6 lbs Here are some tips and survival tactics to get through a fast. The first thing is determination. Believe you can do it. I have tentative plans to complete a seven day fast but will listen to my body and change if necessary. I need…
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Diary of an Extended Fast – Introduction
I need to fast right now. Not next week, not tomorrow. Right now. I’ve just gone (am still going through) a tremendously emotional time, but I can’t let transitory feelings get in the way of my physical health. I’m going to share my experience with you, and frankly that’s a little scary. But doing what’s…
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Riding the waves of an avalanche
I’ve had a shitload of emotional stuff to navigate over the last eight days, but I’ve been aware of my body’s responses and tried to be kind to myself, and in the end of this ordeal, I think I’ll be happier and emotionally healthier. My neighbour Evelyn’s death was a shock, absolutely. Her son and…
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A death too close to home
My neighbour Evelyn died last evening. She’d been feeling unwell for a couple days. I’d planned to drive her to a medical appointment yesterday but she cancelled, fearing she’d collapse. I’ve been driving her to errands and appointments for awhile now. But mostly, I’d pop in just to visit with her. She was 12 years…
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What is strength?
To be truthful, that last post about my dad’s death knocked me flat for a few days. I’ve told the story many times before but never has it flowed so freely. It seemed to come from another place — I was merely the conduit. I’ve read it a few times and wondered how I gained…
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What “too much drama” really means
They say death brings out the worst in families. Or maybe it’s just my experience that prompts me to say that. As you can see from his photo, my dad was a kind and loving man. Even though he died in 2008, I still feel his soft, loving presence. He avoided conflict. He didn’t like…
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Physician, heal thyself of what you were taught about diabetes
I had to go to a walk-in clinic the other day. Like many these days, I don’t have a family doctor. The one I saw previously, and only had for a couple years, retired. My old family doctor never really knew what to do with me. Any reference I made to an emotional element in…
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Make it easy to do the right thing
Way back when I was learning to ride horses, I learned the adage that when you ride, you’re either training or you’re untraining your horse. Okay, I have to clarify — I started riding lessons at age 38, and then bought a horse, then another. I found homes for my horses before I sold my…
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Comfort in sharing?
I’m exploring my reluctance to share these blog posts with my Facebook friends. Normally I only share these posts with my Facebook group, Emotional Diabetes. I shared my post on getting a new dog from California on the main site because many of my Facebook friends have known me a long time. They may remember…
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Assuming you’re alone
I’m in the middle of a week of intensive, virtual training for my new job, and everything seems complicated, especially the program where I input my hours so I can get paid. The class consists of adults from across western Canada. We mainly listen in silence as the instructor reads from a Powerpoint presentation, and…
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Managing fear/panic
My recent drive from Nanaimo, BC to Fresno, California and back home again — over three days — required a lot of night driving. I haven’t had reason to drive at night over the last few years, let alone drive in drizzle, and sometimes sleet, alongside semi-trucks on curvy, mountainous interstate highways. I think anyone…
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This may sound crazy….
But I just drove to Fresno, California to pick up a dog from a rescue. Three days of driving from Nanaimo, BC (12 hours the first day, 13 hours on the second, 10 hours yesterday). This is some serious background on why I would go to such lengths to pick up a dog. There are…
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How do you feel?
Sounds like a silly question, but it can get complicated fast. Clearly, if you’ve been reading this blog for awhile (and thank you if you have) you’ll see that I attribute many of my glucose spikes to hidden emotion. The emotions that I hide from myself fall in the spectrum of anger, sadness, grief and…
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How am I doing? I think, “Pretty good!”
I never thought I’d be a blogger. I have some experience with WordPress but not a lot. All the options around formatting give me brain-freeze. So that’s why I don’t do anything fancy with my layout. I guess that’s the journalist in me — let the words do the talking. You know how it’s easier…
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Crunching numbers for emotional benefits
It occurred to me the other night as I was trying to return to sleep at 2 a.m., that I have, right at my fingertips, an opportunity to make numeric sense of my glucose response. It’s always good when a hunch turns into hard data, whether it’s good news or bad. The Dexcom system includes…
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De-escalating conflict
Part 2 in a series on conflict resolution I’m trying to demystify a subject that most people avoid talking about. We live with conflict every day but few of us know how to handle it well, and we pay the price with our mental and physical health. On that basis, it’s worth learning how to…
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Sensing small changes
Ever since I realized that unfelt (on the surface) stress responses to an event pitches me into three days of glucose chaos, I vowed to raise my awareness of how I react to small, seemingly minor frustrations. Yesterday, I sensed in the morning a slight disconnection, a small struggle to remember things I knew well…
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How to get frustrated — fast!
I just fasted for five days and lost basically nothing. In the past, five days without food would have knocked off seven or eight pounds, but something has changed in my body. I don’t know what it is, but it’s pissing me off. Fasting is how I got down to the low 140s last year,…
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Everybody hates conflict — so let’s break it down
Part 1 Having relationships with people, from your spouse to a co-worker to a random driver on the road or the woman who delivers your mail, means there’s a potential for conflict. I’ve seen too much conflict in my life and it’s taken a toll on my body and mental health. Maybe you, too, grind…
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Shame on you for feeling guilt!
What’s the difference between guilt and shame? Guilt is feeling bad for something you did. Shame is feeling bad because of who you are. There’s a distinct difference, but the two are often intertwined. Sometimes they’re self-imposed, a habit of reacting to a situation by first taking it personally. And sometimes shame and guilt are…
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The masks we wear
When I was in high school, my creative writing teacher — acclaimed Canadian writer Jack Hodgins — asked me to do something strange. I was the first one in class, always, because two of my afternoon classes were in the same room. He put a chair on top of a table and asked me to…
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An old friend is new again
I went to my old beach yesterday, the one where I found solace, comfort, entertainment and refuge as a child. I’ve been there a few times over recent weeks and it occurs to me that the new path over a government easement means I’ll be able to forge a new relationship with this bit of…
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Logic vs Emotion. Does it have to be one or the other?
There’s a popular notion that some people are logical and others emotional. Do you identify with one or the other? Stuffing your emotions down inside will lead to illness like heart attacks, headaches, ulcers, alcoholism and addictions. In my case, buried emotions elevated my blood glucose to the point I’m diabetic. I had a childhood…
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How do you measure your self-worth?
I’m asking you to stand way back and reflect on opportunities you have each day to turn a negative reaction into a positive one. I see my day as a series of events, and how I react to those events often affects my mood and ways I see myself. I start the day pulling socks…