Frustration and cravings

Home Depot man: “This is a mess.”

Life is full of frustrations. It’s how we deal with them that matters. I’m the first to admit that I don’t handle frustrations like I should.

Take today, for instance. I’ve been procrastinating doing a little plumbing work. I am not a plumber, but I’ve seen enough at work that I know it’s not all that complicated. The guy at Home Depot set me up with the right pieces and parts and said, after I told him I’d previously installed my bathroom vanity, that it would be a cinch. Even the YouTube video said that removing a garburator is “deceptively easy.”

I got home, and thought about putting the job off for another day. Then I decided to just tackle the garburator removal and leave the rest for another day.The YouTube video said I needed a “disposal tool” to unhitch the garburator from the mount. Back at Home Depot the guy said, “Nah, just hit it with a hammer.”

Tried it. Didn’t work. I used a hacksaw to cut through the black drain pipe, which freed up the left drain/garburator. The garburator won’t separate from the top flange. I’ve tried hacksawing the plastic between the sink drain and top of garburator but there’s no space to work. I swore a lot.

All this time I forgot to check my glucose. I’m sure the glucose alarm went off much earlier. But once I silence it, it doesn’t ring again to remind me. I should probably change the settings. By the time I injected insulin, it had minimal effect. So I’m back in one of those days that the glucose stays high, no matter how much insulin I dump into my system.

This is bad.

I tidied up the work site and went to watch Netflix. Chilling out for awhile might bring the glucose back in line. I’ll come back at the garburator tomorrow with new ideas.

But as I try to relax, my mind goes to food. Sweet, carby foods. I need ice cream and potato chips and a McDonald’s milkshake. Yeah, right. And all those things will jack up my glucose to the point where I’ll feel nauseous. The series I’m watching is Yellowstone, and it’s got me craving scotch. Or gin and tonic. Or even wine. But I’m just about to mark my third anniversary of not drinking. They call it sobriety, but I can’t wrap my head around that word.

So I’m stuck. I can’t calm myself with a treat or a drink. And that makes me angry on a whole new level. I wonder if these frustrations just keep the glucose elevated. They must do. I get a quick response to insulin each morning, and on normal days when I’m not dealing with a stupid garburator it’s easy to control.

I’m into one of those emotional places where I just have to be patient and wait for things to settle. As for the frustration and cravings, all I can do is think of something else for awhile.

That’s why I’m here again at my keyboard. I think it helped.

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