There’s been a lot going on so I hope you hang in with me on what could be a long post. The good news, it ends well.

I used to lay awake at night, unable to sleep, trying to think my way through problems. As you know, this can really eat up time when sleep is elusive. But my health situation was bugging me, and it seemed I had no support available. Like many, I have no family doctor. I do have two specialists, and endocrinologist and a glaucoma specialist. (The latter plays a minor role at this point, but I will be having preventative eye surgery in late June which, I hope, will alleviate sudden blindness. I try not to think about this.)

It’s the endocrinologist who was the source of much frustration. Despite my pleas for help over seemingly uncontrollable blood glucose, this guy would cheerfully tell me that I’m no different than hundreds of his patients. When I tried to explain my situation in an email, he complained my notes were too long, and he had no response to the content. My appointments felt like bad speed-dating sessions, where the guy was anxious to get onto the next patient/prospect.

A colleague whose husband is diabetic extolled the virtues of visiting a diabetic educator. I scoffed. What good would that do? I’ve been on insulin for 20 years and am adept at eating low carb. My glucose is on my mind 24/7, especially on sleepless nights. But then, during one of those wakeful hours I wondered if a diabetic educator could help me get real assistance from my endocrinologist? It was worth a try.

As I sat in her office, I explained how I’d everything I could think of to work with my endo but he offered me no help. She said, “You’re in diabetic burnout and I absolutely can help you.”

She explained that insulin pumps can help people like me. She showed me three different types and explained how they worked. She is in touch with the pump reps, and they can get the appropriate authorization from my endo without me having to beg and plead on my own behalf.

A short time later I began using the Omnipod Dash system, which has 3 days of insulin contained in a plastic “pod” attached to my arm. I no longer manually inject long or short-term insulin. The Omnipod injects a steady flow of short-term insulin 24 hours a day — I just adjust the flow to meet the needs of my body. This is the first step, and the second will make life even easier.

In a couple weeks, I’ll begin “looping,” which ties my Omnipod up with my Dexcom continuous insulin sensor. Instead of me checking my glucose numbers and adjusting the insulin flow, the looping system will do it for me. The insulin pump and my Dexcom 7 sensor will talk to each other and leave me to worry about other things.

The final step will be me getting a more advanced pump called the Omnipod 5. It has an intelligence factor that will work with Dexcom and help me avoid highs and lows, and create whole new level of confidence that this diabetes of mine is under control — and I don’t have to be alone in trying to control it.

Now these things aren’t cheap. My current Omnipod is covered by BC Medicare, but the pods aren’t. I pay for them through my employment benefits. The Omnipod 5 is about $6,000 and that, too, will be covered by my benefits. This doesn’t mean my coverage depends on being employed (I turn 66 in September!), because B.C. has signed onto a national Pharmacare program. All diabetic drugs will be paid for by government starting March 2026, and in October 2026, all pumps and continuous insulin sensors will be covered as well. So by the time I need to replace my infusion pump (they only last 5 years), I’ll be able to do so for free. I might possibly be able to retire from my retirement job.

Let’s go back to the day I had a Zoom meeting with my pump trainer to get me started on the Omnipod. She gave me a call beforehand to touch base and make sure I was prepared, then she said that my endo would calling me shortly “just to see if you have any questions.”

This was very odd. It was a Saturday. Doctors don’t work Saturdays. He called me and listened without comment as I explained, through anger and tears, the lengths I had to go to get help that he never offered, that I had to go through a local diabetic educator to make all this happen. That his constant brushing me off left me in a desperate state. He said nothing, but I felt heard and that was enough.

Back to my thoughts on those sleepless nights. I knew I was depressed, but not without hope that things might improve. Basically, I counselled myself. I asked about small steps I might take to look after my emotional health. What did I really want to do for fun or pleasure?

First, I wanted to get into my kayak and get back onto the ocean. I didn’t get out last year because of ongoing wrist issues (tendonitis and then a fracture). Also I was scared to load my kayak onto my new car, a RAV 4, which is higher than my old car. I just was scared it would fall off during loading and unloading. There was a solution to this, and I saved up to buy a Thule Hullavator, which has a mechanical assist for loading kayaks.

Yesterday, I got out onto the water and it was glorious. I noted each sensual experience, the call of the bald eagles and splash of an otter’s tail, the cool sea water on my fingertips, the absolute beauty of the seaweed forests in hues of green and brown drifting in the currents below my boat. I was present in my environment, soaking in the healing powers of nature.

The other thing I felt I needed was a quiet, Zen space in my side garden to relax. I wanted to finally get plants in an array of pots and planters I’d collected, so I bought bulbs and got them all planted. I hired landscapers to put down concrete pavers. I resuscitated an old table that once had a metal bowl for a firepit in the middle. I removed that and replaced it with a planter with Walmart blooms. It’s so much more beautiful than I ever imagined, and the bulbs have yet to break ground.

Today I pulled blackberry vines, stubborn ivy and robust weeds, compelled to make my sanctuary even more beautiful. I even spent an hour out there afterward with coffee and Sudoku. I see little things to do, but all in all, it’s magnificent.

The best part is I did it all myself.