I had an experience recently that involved a mistake, a decision to be accountable, a lesson for myself and acceptance that, while painful, I did the right thing.
I’m sure we’ve all been in a similar situation — in a rush to get going, facing the dynamic situation of a busy parking lot and, oh no, a realization I hit another car. This is my first time I scraped a car. And while I’m writing a note to leave on the windshield, the other owner shows up.
My job involves visits to various grocery stores, sometimes five in a day. I’m usually in a rush as I was a couple weeks ago. I parked in an area where my car was on its own, but during my 90-minute visit the spots around my car got populated. Beside me was a newer Jeep SUV. Of course I normally pull out with lots of space for surrounding cars. I didn’t anticipate a driver veering across my path and I instinctively steered to avoid her with put my rear right quarter-panel on a collision course with the Jeep’s front left quarter-panel.
I saw and felt the two vehicles shudder as they made contact. It was sickening. I checked the damage on her car and saw what you see, above. My fingers felt the depth of the scratch. I was writing a note when the driver, a woman carrying flowers, arrived. We examined the damage and said she’d contact me if she decided to pursue repairs.
The damage on my car is evident. I haven’t examined it closely. What’s done is done. I have a more obvious scratch from a post in underground parking that I’ll get fixed one day. Lessons learned: The rear wheels do not track in the same path as the front wheels, and vice versa if you’re reversing.
A few days ago she sent me the invoice from a repair shop. It didn’t look bad at first, but they break these things down into materials, labour and then the final total.
It was the same amount as my paycheque. A whole paycheque. I felt sick but responded that I’d e-transfer the money, which I did.
It’s been a bad year for unexpected expenses. My last employer failed to deduct the correct amount of taxes and that cost me $9,000. I had to buy a new fridge because my old one died. And now this. I can’t seem to get my savings out of the gutter.
I keep playing the scenario over and over. I couldn’t have just left the damage in the rear-view mirror. Someone would have seen what happened and got my licence plate. And besides, I wasn’t raised to walk away from damage I caused. Sure, I feel bad taking responsibility — embarrassed, angry at myself, frustrated with the cost of it all.
But I had no choice. I did the damage. I have to pay up. This is causing the other driver added inconvenience of having a car in the shop. The least I can do is be an adult about my responsibilities — don’t whine or fuss. I’ve kept my negatives feelings to myself.
This morning I got an email from her thanking me for sending the money. She added: “I recognize it could have been much easier to just drive away and not stop to leave me that note, so thank you kindly for your honesty and integrity. Not everyone is responsible and mature enough these days to show up for each other like you have and I really want to acknowledge your innate goodness.”
Somehow it became a positive event. I all my efforts into doing the right thing and she acknowledged that. And I end up feeling grateful.
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